white sand beaches and gorgeous gorges and tasty food, oh my!
did you all have a superfantastic election day & night? i hope so. i spent the evening hiding from my fear that mccain would win. uh, i mean, walking on a freakin’ beach and eating s’mores and communing with sea turtles. finally i texted a friend in portland: “is it over yet? if no, no details please.” she wrote back, “it’s just about over! obama made his speech and everything” and we had to call and ask, “ack! acceptance speech or concession speech?” then we breathed a sigh of relief and went to sleep in our tent ten feet from the ocean.
anyway, i’ll get there. this is a long entry with a whole ton of photos. fair warning. so, i went on a little camping trip with lauren, my high school friend. we left on tuesday morning. first stop pahoa, so she could vote! that accomplished, we drove north, to hamakua and beyond!
found this rocky beach:
underneath this pretty bridge:
drove through this green green gorge:
before arriving at:
lauren’s grandfather’s goat farm!!! we were given a lovely tour, met baby goats and a very large pig named otis…
by far the best part, though, was this:
lots of delicious goat cheese. there is actually more in that little pile than you can really see in this picture. unfortunately, the mango is just for show and we didn’t get to take it with us–but is that not the largest mango you have ever seen??
onward to malasadas (!), then to waimea to buy s’more fixings at the grocery store, then to hawi. we got to town at about 2:30 to discover that bamboo, the restaurant i mentioned many entries ago at which i last ate five years ago, closed at 2:30 until dinner at six! we ate panini down the street instead and made plans to come back the next day.
we camped at spencer beach park. it was nice and uncrowded what with it being a weekday and election day to boot. this is pretty much the view from our tent:
that picture was taken at maybe 4:30, but it looks like sunset, doesn’t it? the air had a really, really strange hazy quality, which i think was vog (volcanic smog). when i got back to hedonisia last night someone explained that during the day the air blows in towards the island, and in the night it blows away towards the sea, which somehow explains why the air was clear and beautiful in the morning when we got up. the beach was nice regardless, almost dreamy in the strange light.
also, check out my sweet sandal tan:
the fact that the sand wasn’t black actually kind of threw me for a minute, hah. the beach ten minutes to the left (facing the ocean; i have no sense of cardinal direction around here) was even lighter, while the beach five minutes to the right was darker:
interesting! this beach (above) is actually a shark breeding ground. no swimming or wading, though the only sign mentioning that is a hike up a little hill–one of those informational signs, which also mentions that the remnants of a heiau (temple) devoted to shark gods is submerged in the area. i climbed up ’cause i was curious… i guess you’re just supposed to know about the sharks. lauren did anyway. we stood and watched for a while, and yes, we saw a bunch of fish flipping out and we saw fins. they’re reef sharks, i guess, and mostly not dangerous, but, uhhh, i still never got more than waist deep into the water at either of the other beaches. ’cause dude. sharks. pretty beach though…
lauren took this photo less than twenty feet from our tent, i swear:
i utterly failed to get any photos of the turtles ’cause i swear they know when you’ve got your camera out.
in the morning:
king kamehameha built this heiau, visible from our campsite:
we packed up our stuff and walked down the path to maumae beach, the whiter sand beach i mentioned above. a year or so ago, an arsonist apparently set fire to the trees around the beach, so what used to be a beautiful lush path is now a very different kind of striking.
starts out like this:
but then:
when i woke up i watched a bunch of people go by in outrigger canoes. kind of like the hawaiian version of a crew team, i think. we saw them coming back again on our way to the beach, and they actually landed at the beach for a bit as we arrived.
if you climb over some lava rock, you get to this little tiny beach right next to maumae beach:
anyway we had a great time being thoroughly lazy for most of the morning, sitting in the sand, wading in the water, lounging on an inflatable raft thingy, looking for sea turtles, et cetera. for a good chunk of it we had the whole beach totally to ourselves.
(picture by lauren)
we packed up around noon and headed back to hawi.
maui in the distance!
bamboo!
so, the best thing on the menu at bamboo is their chicken sate potstickers. i’ve become a vegetarian since the last time i ate there. hmm. i am a vegetarian for environmental rather than ethical or moral reasons, however, and so hey, i ate those potstickers… to celebrate obama’s victory. rigidity is for dogmatic republicans!! they were just as delicious as i remembered. i don’t think it was a hypocritical act at all. i still eat way less meat than most americans, and while i will explain my reasoning to anyone who asks, i’ve never been one to bully anyone else into giving up meat. so. yum. i also had a lilikoi margarita.
i’d never actually eaten a lilikoi (just lots of juice and lilikoi-flavored things and such) before this trip to hawaii. you cut them in half and slurp out the seeds (or, if you’re civilized, you use a spoon). sooo tasty, and tarter than i expected (most lilikoi-flavored things are somewhat sweetened).
in hawi we also bought a bag of rambutans, which i hadn’t tried yet, mostly ’cause i wasn’t sure how to eat them. basically you peel off the skin, pop out the fruit inside, and chew the meat off of the seed (you can just stick the whole thing in your mouth and then spit out the seed). they are freakin’ delicious and i pretty much devoured the whole bag between hawi and hilo.
i ♥ tropical fruit.
on the way to hilo we stopped at the waipio valley lookout. first, this:
then, the valley itself. breathtaking:
(i mean the valley, but check me out dudes i am tan!)
we also stopped at one of many bridges over gorgeous lush jungle valleys, and i took many many photos of this amazing jungle waterfall vista ahhhhh:
also, check this out:
i just like the way those photos look all in a row like that.
well, that’s all, folks. (i mean, except for all the other pictures i took, which you can look at here.) i hung out at uh hilo for an hour or so while lauren had class, and then we headed back to puna sweet puna. today i’ve mostly just been hanging out. and eating goat cheese. did some painting (the boring kind) for my work trade. next adventure up: mauna kea on saturday? if i can get the day off!
playing with possibility
yes, that is a dolphin!! here’s some more:
= my pretty poor attempt at capturing the whole crowd of spinner dolphins playing and leaping all around us, racing the prow of our little boat…
so our neighbor, the guy who owns the property next door to hedonisia, hangs out with us a lot. he also owns a boat and runs a little whale watching business during the winter (or used to? not sure). today he agreed to take us all out on his boat in return for a couple hours of weeding on his property sometime in the future. we drove up to hilo and launched the boat there–went out into the ocean and found those DOLPHINS, rode up and down the hamakua coast–the colors there just blow me away!
the blue of the ocean! the red of the cliffs! the green of the jungle! the other blue of the sky!
the ride itself was a whole lot of fun. lots of holding on for dear life and laughing and oh my god the dolphins! i’m pretty sure someone got some video footage of, well, the dolphins, but mostly all of us flipping out about the dolphins and how flippin’ cool and amazing they were. i know you’re all just dying to see it, so i’ll see what i can do for you, hm?
maybe all my happy rambling about the beautiful things i’m seeing and experiencing here is starting to be a little, i dunno, redundant. i wish i could pull out all the stuff in my heart and my head and put it into neat, straightforward words (and pictures, sure) for you (and me!)–all the beauty and the lessons and the doubt and the possibilities and the people i miss–i miss people a lot, but without the painful useless longing that has sometimes cut me off from experiencing the present–and and and. i know i’ve joked here a couple times about buying land here in puna and living off the grid in a jungle hut and eating fruit etc etc etc… i think what i really need to get across (to myself) is that there are so many more possibilities than i allowed for before this trip. i assumed that because i have been happy and fulfilled in portland that that is where i belong. then, coming here and discovering that this place is so, so beautiful and has a lot to share with me, a lot to teach me and a lot of joy to give–i thought about here (albeit not really seriously) as the be-all-and-end-all the same way i did (and maybe do) portland. when, obviously, the world is huge, there are so many good worthwhile people to meet and know and love, and i’m pretty sure i could seriously (ridiculously) do anything i set my mind to. it’s just that there are so many things! and which do i want first?
i never quite succeed in getting across what i really mean when i try to talk about this stuff. here in puna i say “god, this is so beautiful.” then i pause. think. reflect. then i say “i suspect there is a whole lot of beauty in the world.” and yeah, of course there is! one nice thing about puna is that instead of looking at you like “duh” or shaking their heads at your vague new age-y babbles, people here’ll just smile wider, take another toke, and nod… “i hear you, man…” and for the most part, i think they do hear me. the parts of me that matter right now.
hey friends, you can change your life. i didn’t really believe it, but now i know it and i want you to know too. if you want to, you can change your life. that’s all.
the wants, the exploring…
right now i am pretty explicitly on vacation. i’m having fun and recovering peace and joy. i am learning way more about possibilities than i am about living in hawaii, if you follow. if i did want to stay here and learn about that, i would be doing things a little bit differently. that distinction is important for me to be aware of.
the infinite sky
i saw a shooting star tonight while staring at the sky from the bed of a pick-up truck. i also saw:
the not-starving-at-all artiste
* kona brewing wailua wheat… wheat beer with passion fruit! tasty tasty
* chocolate & macadamia nut kona coffee with brown sugar
* katuk–grows all over the property and the leaves are nutty and delicious
* the LIGHT here in the mornings! indescribable and changeable and amazing…
* waking up early in the morning with no effort at all to eat my breakfast, sip my coffee, enjoy the light and the warm breeze or the rain…
i hope you all had a great halloween. we ended up having a sorta party here at hedonisia last night, mostly by accident. some of us were in costume but no one really felt like going anywhere, and even those with vague plans lingered and lingered longer and never left, and we drank beer and red wine and sangria and ate candy and listened to music and danced to “thriller” and “the time warp.” i’m living out of a suitcase and have nothing particularly costume-y with me here, but that’s what borrowed eyeliner is for of course:
i am salvador dali! sorta.
anyway, thought i’d share my painting projects! here’s the recycling signs that started it all!–
i mounted them to the various recycling crates as well, making me apparently the first female hedo volunteer to attempt carpentry (hah!). this is the first one i did and you can tell some trial-and-error was involved:
so, our floor! here’s what it looked like at the end of the day yesterday:
i painted the banana tree. can you see the embracing figures in the leaves?
and today:
i added more anthurium flowers on the right. close up (not sure they’re done yet):
i am pretty pleased… and having a lot of fun.
seriously ridiculous
what a great day! what a series of great days! mahalo… thank you pele.
a couple days ago i painted a little sign for one of the gardens to label some bean plants. then i was asked to paint some new signs to label the various recycling bins, and next thing i know me and another girl here are being asked to design and paint the floor for the mai’a (banana) cabana, a new accommodation on the property. we started this morning and we’re both having such a good time doing it. and this pleasure is what’s letting me stay here for free!? (pictures when it’s done, probably!)
this afternoon’s adventures took us up to the hamakua coast north of hilo. we stopped on the way at this place called baker tom’s, where we met tom himself, a crazy dude who makes delicious malasadas and who discounted my lilikoi malasada (delicious!) i think because i have pink hair. and/or ’cause he thought i was kama’aina (local/native). i guess i’m getting a tan! i have heard a lot of people say that when you come to the island, pele either accepts you or she spits you back out. i have rarely felt so welcomed and embraced; thank you thank you pele…
we went to this amazing freshwater swimming hole in a place called ninole. it’s hidden under a bridge along a quiet road and really the most wonderful unexpected place!
i didn’t jump off that ledge, no. my excuse? well, remember that picture from yesterday of me hanging by my arms from a tree branch? today, much to my frustrated surprise, my collarbone was displeased with me. still–pretty bad excuse. instead:
smaller ledge! and the two of us promised to jump WHEN we go back before i leave. i know i know we will (go back) and we will (jump!).
scrabbling up and over rocks. so much fun.
the rain chased us under the bridge for awhile:
along a road near the swimming hole was this seriously awesome tree (i love how that phrase means pretty much the same thing as “ridiculously awesome tree”–this is indicative of something, folks), a rainbow eucalyptus:
and then green tea and japanese food in hilo…
i spent the whole ride home thinking thank you thank you there is so much beauty… i am almost afraid that i will just stop feeling this way when i get home to portland. but i guess if that’s how it is, then, well, i know what to do. but i think that if i approach portland with the same freshness and openness with which i arrived here, i will be just fine–much, much more than fine. it will be harder there, because i think i know the way things are there, and things and people there think they know the way i am. it is hard to allow the things and people we love to be more than and better than and changed from what we know of them. i will try. and i will try to be more and better and allow myself the changes i need, whatever that may mean–the things i can’t even imagine yet…
love & aloha,
sweetness & light,
take care & give care,
stacia
forgiveness
the universe keeps giving me these beautiful affectionate punches in the face, like: well you’re healing; heal this too!
today after i finished my work trade i lounged around the barn for awhile, reading, working on my mandala, feeling antsy… so i asked a new friend of mine here if he would be down for going to the beach. the first people we hitched a ride with gave us a big cardboard box full of bananas from their property that they didn’t want or need. just ’cause. hawaii’s gifts.
we went to a little rocky beach off the red road between mackenzie park and kehena. tide pools, cliffs, jungle, shells for the finding, all the usual treasures. only two other people are there… we offer them bananas… and one of them… i swear to god… could it be? no way. he doesn’t want a banana and i’ve already begun to walk away when the adrenaline hits–the adrenaline that has never failed in over four years to strike when i see him unexpectedly. no way. i swear it’s him–this person with whom i had an unhealthy, obsessive love affair when i was eighteen years old, who broke my heart and haunted my dreams and occasionally my waking life for years after it was over. it seems improbable, and yet–if we’re going to meet anywhere, it may as well be this tiny beach in puna, right? he’s kind of a wanderer and it doesn’t seem totally impossible.
i wade in the tide pools and chase nervous fish, i climb up the cliffs, i talk to my friend, i sit on my sarong and pick up pieces of dead white coral. i sneak double takes. he’s lying on the beach with a girl and i would hate to interrupt anything. but i would bet on it. this is crazy. i make this message, figuring well hey a little strange poetry art if nothing else:
we’re at the beach for at least an hour or two and nothing changes. finally the sun is starting to set and we want to be on our way before dark. as we leave, he’s walking across the beach. i look at him again and then start to walk past him. finally i turn to him and say, “excuse me, um, is your name _____?”
“uh, no, i’m _____,” he says.
“oh, sorry, it’s just you look so much like someone i used to know.” i walk up to him and stick out my hand. he takes it. “hi, i’m stacia. thanks for, uh, letting me… untangle my brain,” i say, illustrating my words with vague gestures above my head. i’m laughing. my friend is laughing. i walk the wrong way and totally miss the path back to the road. i laugh harder.
i think i am proud of myself for asking his name. for not letting him be the same ghostly presence in my life that my ex-lover was for so long. but who knows. the universe’s lessons unfold slowly. i am so glad to be able to open myself to these things. hawaii’s lessons are not all about hawaii, you know? last night i got a long-distance phone call from nepal. ohhh. so.
my arms can hold me up again.
life’s a trip.
sweetness & light
the place i’m sleeping right now, ocean view, is pretty much the most beautiful place on the property during the day time. at night, though, the narrow path up the hill and the thick jungle behind it are, well, just creepy enough to make me pretty eager to hop into bed and get the covers wrapped securely around me (bogey monsters are totally defeated by cotton). last night i woke up in the dark of the night because something was scrabbling around on the roof (made of bamboo supports and a couple tarps). i lay awake for what seemed like forever listening to whatever it was. one of the cats? a mongoose? or a GIANT CENTIPEDE?? unlikely, my logical mind patiently explained… and eventually i fell back asleep and woke up shortly after sunrise in the most beautiful place again.
yesterday we got a ride into town from a guy who was listening to some kind of tape or radio program about the history and importance of the apple in early pioneer america. the narrator went on a tangent about sweetness, and how it used to be a big virtue–sweetness and light. how it’s only in more recent history that sweetness has become, well, somewhat saccharine.
hawaii is sweet, my friends. my life, the synthesis of my experiences, my increasing self-awareness and awareness of the communities around me: all sweet. fuckin’ sweet!
today i started a new mandala–in full color.
this is midnight, one of two cats around here:
