28 May 2010, 10:28pm
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at the village building convergence tonight, one of the speakers suggested (sort of tangentially) that instead of viewing our parents–or whoever–people we sometimes have trouble relating well to–as imperfect people, that we ask ourselves: what if they were perfect? if they were, could we really learn what we need to from them? but they are, because we learn what we need to from them. oh. yeah. we are social creatures.

how many times does it take an epiphany to stick? “he wondered how we know that what happens to us isn’t good.” (amy hempel–link is to the very first post i wrote in this blog. you see what i mean, about epiphanies?)

i met a few folks, thanks in part to that speaker and another, who both insisted we meet our neighbors and had us do “think and listen” exercises that reminded me of a storytelling exercise we did at the cornerstone institute last summer. we took three minutes to tell a partner what our intentions were for this vbc. i hadn’t really articulated any to myself but i talked for three minutes anyway… about leaving portland soon, and how i don’t know what’s going to happen in my life after that, and about how much last year’s vbc affected me, and how whatever happens in my life after that will be affected by it as well, and how sad i am about leaving even though i am excited for my trip and even for whatever comes next, and how shy i have been about making myself a part of the community surrounding city repair, and how i would like to talk to more people this year, and so on…

(my mom and i have been going to a weekly yoga class together since september. our teacher likes to remind us–) no effort is ever wasted.

today was the first day of city repair’s 10th vbc. in the morning i took photos of a cob workshop at a place in northeast called art from the heart, an art studio for adults with developmental disabilities, where a cob bench is being built during the vbc. in the afternoon i went back, took some more photos, and also got my hands dirty myself.

good dirty fun.

yesterday i rode through “my” intersection (where i got hit) like it wasn’t no thing, because it was simply the most straightforward and convenient route from where i was to where i was going. the first time i did it (about a year ago) it was a Big Deal, but today i thought about it as i turned onto 57th and then had almost forgotten by the time i reached fremont. This Too Shall Pass: the truest truth.

building building building. i am resilient and regenerative. someone tonight asked me what my name means and i told her that it’s from either anastasia or eustacia and that anastasia means resurrection (i couldn’t remember what eustacia means). she had been watching me draw a mandala in my sketchbook during the speakers and she told me that looking at it made her feel resurrected. eustacia, by the way, means fruitful and calm.

A few years ago, when I was really into experimental/ambient music and speaking to myself very clearly, I wrote, “You are often the worst one to say whether or not you have benefitted”. I was talking to myself as an audient (my neologistic singular of “audience”) but it felt like a) something I could say to other people, and b) a concept with pretty far-reaching implications. It’s nice to hear someone else bring it up.



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